When I First Held You

Harris’s (The Truths and Triumphs of Grace Atherton) latest follows Judith and Jimmy, antinuclear activists who met in 1960s Glasgow and fell in love. Jimmy is sent to prison when their flat is raided, and Judith is unable to tell him that she is pregnant; bowing to societal pressures, Judith gives her baby girl up for adoption. While she never fully heals from this terrible wound, she does go on to live a happy life with her partner, Catherine. Years later, Judith is shocked when Jimmy appears and tells her they have a biological granddaughter, Ruby, who found them through a DNA ancestry website. Narrator Billie Fulford-Brown tells Ruby’s story, revealing the painful ways that the adoption shaped her family. Fulford-Brown skillfully communicates Ruby’s fear of the unknown and her mixed feelings—guilt, excitement, and wariness—as she seeks out her biological relatives. Helen Lloyd gives voice to Judith, conveying her confusion about her sexuality and her wrenching grief at losing her child. The pacing is leisurely, allowing listeners time to become fully invested in the characters’ stories.