The Secret to Getting Along (and Why It’s Easier Than You Think): 3 Steps to Life-Changing Conflict Resolution

Even though most people abhor conflict, it persists in society. Hartley (Better Apart), a lawyer and professional mediator, provides a three-step technique called the YES method to assist readers in addressing discord. The book’s first three sections examine the three elements of the YES method: Your role; Emotional story; and Shelving heated situations/conversations. The concluding section considers whether this method can help when facing particular conflicts. Hartley makes valid observations and suggestions about how to best handle disagreements with others. She notes that most people are terrible listeners and that communication failures result in unnecessary friction. Hartley stresses that individuals should practice inner quieting and “won’t power” to refrain from acrimonious behavior, as one’s inner narrative can influence how they react to particular situations or disputes. Chapters offer writing exercises, breathing techniques, positive-affirmation strategies, and suggestions for further reading to assist readers in viewing conflicts as opportunities rather than catastrophes. The author recognizes that this book may not solve all conflicts, some of which may require professional therapy.