It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion

Marriage and family therapist Engel (The Emotionally Abused Woman; Healing Your Emotional Self; The Power of Apology) here focuses on resolving the shame issues of abuse victims by proposing strategies for "self-compassion." Addressing the reader personally, Engel first analyzes the concept of debilitating shame, differentiating it from guilt, and then describes the effects of shame and the strategies people use to overcome it. The author then skillfully presents and combines a number of therapeutic methods put forth recently regarding the development of mindfulness in clients, which can lead to a more compassionate view of themselves. By combining these mindfulness approaches with the specific focus on the shame reactions of childhood abuse victims, Engel helps the participating reader to develop more awareness of how their past trauma affects their present lives. Calling this process "The Compassion Cure Program" and using many case study examples and more than 50 exercises, Engel delivers an accessible path for suffering beginners attempting therapeutic mindfulness practice. Readers are shown ways to develop five elements of self-compassion: self-understanding, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-kindness, and self-encouragement.