This month's column is seemingly dominated by men (well, that didn't come out the way I intended). There are a few common themes—struggles with sexual identity are prevalent and certainly topical, while parent/child relations are strong issues in nearly every title. The standout here is Townie, a timely reflection on violence, bullies of all kinds, and what it takes to shed a life built upon beating others.
Itzkoff, Dave. Cocaine's Son. Villard. Feb. 2011. 240p. ISBN 9781400065721. $24. MEMOIRItzkoff, a New York Times reporter, recounts his tumultuous childhood with a cocaine-addicted father. While his father was a belittling, aggressive, self-absorbed man, he also was a successful furrier, maintaining a public persona at odds with his drug-addled home life. Repeated attempts to connect with his father leave Itzkoff in emotional turmoil as he struggles to become his own person. In adulthood, Itzkoff attempts to mend his broken relationship with his father through couples' therapy. What I'm Telling My Friends: This is a remarkable story honestly told—without Itzkoff's resilience and determination to form a complete, healthy identity, his life could have seriously derailed.
Tiber, Elliot. Palm Trees on the Hudson: A True Story of the Mob, Judy Garland & Interior Decorating. Square One. Jan. 2011. 192p. ISBN 9780757003516. $24.95. MEMOIRTiber, novelist and professor of comedy writing and performance, delivers a prequel to his noted memoir–turned–motion picture, Taking Woodstock. Tiber's mother, a shrewd businesswoman and harshly judgmental figure, is a near caricature of severe disapproval, withholding love and support from her only son. Tiber escapes his suffocating, homophobic home, moving to Greenwich Village to build an interior design business. His entanglements with the mob, encounter with lifelong muse Judy Garland, and continuing struggle with his family dynamic are uproarious and startling, highlighting Tiber's ongoing determination to succeed in the face and wake of disaster. What I'm Telling My Friends: I'm not surprised Tiber is in demand as a lecturer; this reads as only a storyteller can convey such a life. A fun read.
Dubus III, Andre. Townie: A Memoir. Norton. Feb. 2011. 352p. ISBN 9780393064667. $25.95. MEMOIR Dubus III recounts growing up after his professor/writer father, Andre Dubus, abandoned his family. He details struggling through stages of handling violence in the wake of estrangement from his father as an invisible, bullied child, unable to fight back; through being a young man determined to protect his family and others around him; to hyper-vigilance, bent on hitting first, while becoming as big and strong as possible. His journey through violence and constant reflections upon the underlying causes are powerful; it is at once a sorrowful tale of loss and one man's extraordinary path to a peaceful life. What I'm Telling My Friends: One of the most balanced, reflective, thoughtful books I've read to date. This addresses a wide range of topics with grace and depth.
Blakeley, Kiri. Can't Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love. Citadel. Jan. 2011. 272p. ISBN 9780806533308. pap. $14.95. MEMOIR Blakeley's story begins with her fiancé questioning his sexuality. Actually, he's pretty sure he's gay. Actually, he's been having sex with men for two years. It's over. Cue the dramatic recounting to friends, the one-upsmanship, the cruelly homophobic recriminations, etc., before moving on to explore the new, unfamiliar world of dating with no attachments and ostensibly no intent to develop romantic relationships. Blakeley, a Forbes journalist, writes well, but comes off terribly by documenting sexual escapades and her descent into chaos after a relationship gone wrong. What I'm Telling My Friends: Holy slutfest! Not in a good, empowered-woman, own-your-sexual-self kind of way either. The soul searching comes too late and is too little to feel sincere; the author lost me long before making any real changes. Pass.
Bensie, Dennis Milam. Shorn: Toys to Men. Coffeetown. Jan. 2011. 268p. illus. ISBN 9781603810920. pap. $17.95. MEMOIRThroughout his youth, Bensie grappled with an insatiable urge to play with and cut dolls' hair. With an overbearing father unable to understand his effeminate son, and battling school bullies, Bensie shoplifted to keep a supply of doll heads secreted in his room for haircutting and sexual release. Later becoming a theatrical wig-maker, he self-medicated by cruising street hustlers and paying them to cut their hair. After discovering through therapy that this sexual gratification is called paraphilia, Bensie learns how to put his life into perspective and address what he really wants. A poignant read about a little-known issue. What I'm Telling My Friends: Particularly topical in these days of bullying stories and gay teens committing suicide, this brings to light just one man's tremendous struggle.
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Reader Comments (7)
So wait, you like every book written by a male, and don't like mine not because it's not well written, which you say it is, but because I have sex with a few men (three to be exact-- in a YEAR) and I talk honestly about it. Sounds like a judgment on my life rather than a review of my book. But hey, "Holy slutfest!" would make a great blurb.
Posted by Kiri on December 7, 2010 12:01:51PM
Not to mention that Dennis Bensie is not called a slut, despite this comment: "he self-medicated by cruising street hustlers." Perhaps I was doing a little "self-medicating" myself-- which, oh wait, I said in my book! But I'm female, so the rules are different, apparently. Can anyone say double standard?
Posted by Kiri on December 7, 2010 12:10:06PM
I agree. As a librarian, I find this kind of book review - flippant, cold, misogynist
- both offensive and below the standards of Library Journal. It completely
ignores the causes (imagine the shock of learning you were misled for a decade
by the one you trust the most) and goes straight for the sanctimonious
judgments.
Posted by Matt on January 5, 2011 08:44:23AM
I completely agree with your review of the self-indulgent dreck that is "Can't Think Straight." The book is frankly pathetic... a clear example of a spoiled little brat who's used to getting her way and when things don't work out the way she wants them to she stamps her foot and throws a tantrum. I've had my heart broken many times and never have I decided the best recourse of action would be to write a book about the jerk, and become so paranoid that every guy had the same failings as the last that I couldn't develop relationships beyond meaningless sex.
The above review justifying Kiri's homophobic tone frankly made me laugh out loud. Seriously? Kiri used hate speech such as "queer" and "fag," talked about how her boyfriend wanted to "marry her and have a socially acceptable life" (obviously a gay lifestyle is not one that is acceptable to Kiri) and perpetuated gay steriotypes repeatedly throughout the book. The only reason Kiri gets away with this is because the gay community still has long strides to make before homophobic hatespeech is finally socially condemned. I wonder if Kiri would have been defended so fiercely if it had been racist or misogynistic hatespeech she'd been tossing around. Hmmmm... food for thought.
In conclusion, the book was petty, shallow, and vindictive. I can say one good thing for it, though: It *did* point out a failing in our society: the sickeningly pervasive attitude of selfishness that dominates the American culture. Over and over in this book I read "POOR ME!! POOR POOR PITIFUL ME!!" and not once did I hear Kiri voice a modicum of sympathy toward this man who had supposedly been her 'love' for ten years. When the man was tearfully breaking down in front of her, confessing his tortured confusion, what does Kiri do? She suggests having an open relationship. She condemns him for not knowing "fag lingo." She laments now being single in the city. Not a thought is spared for the emotional turmoil, or the future struggles of her 'love' of ten years.
And a PS to Kiri: An author who cannot gracefully take criticism of her works does not deserve the title. If you write a book about your life, it is going to be criticized. That spoiled attitude of a child throwing a tantrum when things don't go her way? You're doing it now.
Posted by Angel on January 8, 2011 12:48:19AM
My book was reviewed right along with Kiri's. I am a gay man and talk
about the pressure to get married and live a socially acceptable life. I was
married to woman for three years and detail the marriage in my book. I
am going to assume that she would hate me and my book just by her
tone. Great. Life goes on. As a first time author, it is an honor to be
reviewed in Library Journal. It seem like bad taste to make such
comments and review your reviewer. If you can't take the heat ...don't
publish your work.
Posted by Dennis Milam Bensie on January 11, 2011 05:43:40AM
Really, Angel? If her fiance had spent years in anonymous
hookups with droves of women, I don't think you'd be putting
so much sympathy toward him.
Trusting woman deceived: "He found dozens of anonymous women
online to f... he didn't even know their names or care!!!"
Angel: "Well, he was struggling with whether he wanted to be
w/ the person he was with. Have some sympathy for him."
Was he struggling? Sure, he was. But, he didn't have to drag
her trust, love, and dreams of a life together along with
it... and then on top of it risking her health with who
knows what STD. Finding out that was going on from the
person you gave everything, planned to be the father of your
children, and trusted like to one else, naturally would mess
you up pretty badly.
And don't try your same trick of calling me a homophobe and
thinking that justifies you. My gay guy friends are the ones
who are the most angry when they hear about closeted gay
guys doing this type of thing.
Dubus III, Andre. Townie: A Memoir. Norton. Feb. 2011. 352p. ISBN 9780393064667. $25.95. MEMOIR
