Parenting Short Takes: Hooray for Dads!
By Julianne J. Smith Aug 18, 2010Father's Day has come and gone, but this month's offerings are like a fragrant bouquet honoring fatherhood. From attending your child's birth to adopting from afar, the role of Dad is increasingly "in" while self-esteem is increasingly "out." This welcome change is evident via an increase of quality titles. Books for him are transcending the usual approach of potty humor about dirty diapers and the lack of sex, taking themselves seriously, with grace and polish.
Dads might be the new demographic for the parenting collection. It's definitely happening in my library, where just last week a young father with deep, dark circles under his eyes asked if we had anything on "that Ferber method," while the nine-month-old urchin on his hip flashed a newly minted fang. We all cackled together on our way to the sleep-training section.
Bromfield, Richard. How To Unspoil Your Child Fast: A Speedy, Complete Guide to Contented Children and Happy Parents. Sourcebooks. Sept. 2010. 256p. ISBN 978-1-4022-4206-9. pap. $14.99. CHILD REARING
Are you being held hostage by a brat the size of a yardstick? Psychologist Bromfield writes that for 30 years he has "heard and seen the stress, misery, annoyance, and inconvenience of spoiled children." Written for parents of children aged two to 12, this work aims to reestablish the power structure and boundaries of the parent-child relationship. With a quick and digestible format, including case studies, checklists, and quotes, the author advocates for the powerful teacher of natural consequences and the importance for children of work and responsibility. There has been a wealth of good titles on discipline in the last year (Beyond Time Out; First the Broccoli, Then the Ice Cream), and this joins the ranks. The accessible style makes it highly recommended.
Carr, John C. Becoming a Dad: The First Three Years. Sterling. (Great Expectations). Oct. 2010. 208p. ISBN 978-1-4027-5630-6. pap. $14.95. CHILD REARING
Carr, a social worker and psychotherapist, here contributes a strong addition to Sterling's "Great Expectations" series, exploring the male experience of becoming a father. Making a strong case for the importance of involvement while recognizing that fatherhood today is vastly different from our own dad's experience, he is neither punchy nor pedantic and does a good job of addressing concerns specific to men. Carr walks Dad through typical feelings when learning about a pregnancy, information he should know throughout the three trimesters, and delivery and postpartum considerations before moving on to infant development during the first year and beyond. Including quotes from dads, sidebars, and tips, this useful title wil suit all expectant fathers; highly recommended.
Eisenstein, Mayer. Make an Informed Vaccine Decision for the Health of Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Childhood Shots. New Atlantean. 2010. 224p. bibliog. index. ISBN 978-1-88121-736-7. pap. $14.95. CHILD REARING
Childhood vaccines are a hot and contentious topic, with many parents convinced that inoculations are behind the increasing rate of autism. Yet, for almost all public schools, vaccines are required. The concept of "herd immunity" behind vaccination has a long history in public health, and while many vaccines have been known to cause problems, most pediatricians still recommend absolutely that you vaccinate your child, arguing that the benefits outweigh the risks. What's a parent to do? Doctor, lawyer, and public health expert Eisenstein here breaks down all recommended vaccines-from polio and mumps, to chickenpox and HPV-explaining in detail each disease the vaccine is intended to prevent, the vaccine's side effects, and how each is made (including ingredients). The "informed decision" he leans toward is much more of a warning cry against vaccinations, however. Many parents (and professionals) will appreciate this book for its straightforward approach to enlightening them about this important subject.
Ford, Gina. From Crying Baby to Contented Baby. Vermilion, dist. by Random House UK. Sept. 2010. 192p. ISBN 978-0-09-192959-6. pap. $11.95. CHILD REARING
Hungry, tired, and bored? There is a reason your baby cries, but deciphering it can be tricky. British child expert Ford (The Contented Little Baby Book) here delivers a brief (librarians will hate the 5½" x 5½" size) title on soothing methods for the most common causes of crying. As in her other books, Ford sticks to rigid schedules (the reason she is so often criticized), but those rigid schedules are often exactly what your pediatrician recommends (feed an infant every three hours). Then again, sometimes they aren't (limit daytime sleep to no more than five hours). Ultimately, parents who are struggling with a crying baby will be grateful for Ford's exacting routines and methods, as they leave little room for arguing over what to do. In the end, the baby will, in all likelihood, be just fine.
Jones, Carl. The Birth Partner Handbook: Everything You Need To Know for a Healthy, Positive Birth Experience. Sourcebooks. 2010. 223p. ISBN 978-1-4022-3779-9. $16.99. CHILD REARING
Childbirth educator Jones (yes, a man) has written an essential guide for anyone who plans on being in the delivery room. From explanations of how labor progresses to specific tips for each stage, Jones gives clear and helpful direction for the involved partner, covering both her experience and his experience, including what to do if medical intervention is necessary. Supporting the belief that "birth is a normal process, not an illness," his approach is both healthy and practical, and it will empower anyone helping a mother through labor and delivery. Highly recommended.
Nugent, Kevin (text) & Abelardo Morell (photogs.). Your Baby Is Speaking to You: A Visual Guide to the Amazing Behaviors of Your Newborn and Growing Baby. Houghton. Jan. 2011. 128p. ISBN 978-0-547-24295-8. pap. $18.95. CHILD REARING
Bella bambino! In this gorgeous book on early infancy, physician Nugent and photographer Morell provide a stunning layout combined with rich, graceful text. From the different looks (and purposes) of light and deep sleep, to the "fencer response" (picture baby on back: en garde!), to the sleep smile, the authors beautifully capture these universal reactions and explain their role in infant communication and development. Parents of colicky babies can play, too: there are wonderful images and descriptions of "not very cuddly" and "not easily settled" babies, as well as distressed and startled infants. Each page features a large photograph with three to five paragraphs of text, which render the book easy to read and browse. This is, quite simply, a beautiful and elegant book, appropriate for anyone who has ever loved, or wants to love, a baby.
Simon, Scott. Baby, We Were Made For Each Other: In Praise of Adoption. Random. Aug. 2010. 192p. ISBN 978-1-4000-6849-4. $22. CHILD REARING
The award-winning host of NPR's Weekend Edition, Simon here shares the moving story of how he and his wife adopted two daughters from China. With the wit and grace we have come to expect from him ("There are times when the adoption process is exhausting and painful and makes you want to scream. But, I am told, so does childbirth"), he makes a cogent case for the "natural order" of adoption. In addition to his own story, he recounts those of other parents who have adopted and includes quotes from adopted children themselves. Beautiful and heartwarming, but with the earned sophistication of one who knows, Simon's book should transcend the child-care market and be treasured by any parent, adoptee, or lover of literary form. Recommend this for a multitude of readers, and if it should find its way back to the shelf, pull it off again for prominent display.
Smith, Carmen Gimenez. Bring Down the Little Birds: On Mothering, Art, Work, and Everything Else. Univ. of Arizona. Oct. 2010. 112p. ISBN 978-0-8165-2869-1. pap. $15.95. CHILD REARING
In this sophisticated collection of poetry, Smith (New Mexico State Univ.) explores the misty space among motherhood, selfhood, and working professional. The poems rarely exceed ten lines and read more like poetic observations than formal poetry, perfectly matching the content, as writing while home with small children can feel like small moments snatched from a hurried life. Smith is by turns intense, astute, humorous, and philosophical ("children have everything of someone else's"); she writes with alacrity and grace, reminiscent of Naomi Shihab Nye in her ability to reveal the extraordinary within the ordinary. Highly recommended for all poetry lovers.
