The Truth About Lying: Teaching Honesty to Children at Every Age and Stage

Trust and security are built on honesty, and Talwar (forensic developmental psychology, McGill Univ.) answers with a resounding yes the question of whether children can be taught truthfulness. She starts with the humbling truth of how prevalent lying is not only among children but also among adults, which might make readers think twice about what they're teaching their kids when they call in sick from work to play golf or pretend they’re not home when the doorbell rings. Talwar argues that knowing their weaknesses around lying can help parents be both wise and compassionate. In the first half of the book, Talwar explains how children learn to lie and how they decide to be honest. She also explores the motivations behind lies, which can enable parents to see deeper into and deal with dishonest behavior. The second half of the book is more practical, dedicated to strategies for teaching honesty to children. This section starts with what to do when a child lies, but it focuses more on teaching honesty and bringing out the positive in children by learning and responding to the motivation for lying instead of simply the behavior. Talwar also points out that there are gray areas to honesty, like in moments where kids should share a secret or tattle for safety’s sake.