Self-Help Reviews, January 2011
Jan 15, 2011Cyrulnik, Boris. Resilience: How Your Inner Strength Can Set You Free from the Past. Tarcher: Penguin Group (USA). Feb. 2011. c.320p. bibliog. ISBN 9781585428502.pap. $14.95.
Salzer, Alicia, M.D. Back to Life: Getting Past Your Past with Resilience, Strength, and Optimism. Morrow. Jan. 2011. c.304p. bibliog. ISBN 9780061771064. $25.99. SELF-HELP
According to world-renowned neuropsychiatrist and psychologist Cyrulnick, history is not destiny. He uses his own experience and his work with orphaned and abused children to demonstrate how people can triumph over adversity. Each of the four chapters includes examples of those who have coped by using a variety of techniques—e.g., integrating their stories into the collective history of the environments in which they lived, using their memories to spur creative ventures, or reworking horrific actions, commitments, and narratives. He essentially offers hope through documenting the stories of individuals who have overcome incredible adversity. Salzer, member of the Rape Abuse Incest National Network’s Speakers Bureau, takes on the same subject with more of a how-to than an explanatory approach. She asserts that one does not have to revisit the pain to work through it but instead needs to visualize oneself as a survivor instead of a victim. Some of the tools for strengthening resilience include flexibility, accountability, self-efficacy, and community. Salzer discusses each concept at length, provides case studies, and explains how to develop each attribute. Both books are written from the heart and with sound psychology to provide help to readers. Cyrulnik presents inspiring reading about those who have triumphed, and Salzer gives a road map for how to get there.
Gilbert, Allison. Parentless Parents: How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise Our Children. Hyperion. Feb. 2011. c.304p. bibliog. ISBN 9781401323516. $23.99. SELF-HELP
Gilbert (Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Have Lost Both Parents) uses interviews, focus groups, surveys, and her own experience to explore the issues and challenges facing new mothers and fathers whose parents are dead. She discusses the vacuum one feels when one wants to share a child’s milestone and the absence of a safety net when one is overwhelmed. She also points out that not having a grandparent is a loss for a child as well. Gilbert offers positive ways of keeping alive the memory of one’s parents, such as taking children on a “Grandparent Tour,” putting together a slide show or book, and cooking traditional family foods. A memory journal template and survey responses provide further assistance. This book on an unaddressed subject fills the need, with empathy and hope.
Greene, Bob & others. The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy. S. & S. Jan. 2011. c.256p. ISBN 9781416588368. $25. SELF-HELP
In this shot in the arm for finally losing weight and keeping it off, Greene (The Best Life Diet) teams up with psychologist Ann Kearney-Cooke and dietitian Janis Jibrin to explain the underlying issues that hinder weight loss. The authors provide research-based instructions and exercises to help overcome emotional overeating; rewire the sugar-, fat-, and salt-loving brain; conquer exercise aversion; and transform body image. Greene adds to the usual weight-loss literature by going behind the scenes to, e.g., stress that critical to staying with an exercise program is finding a personally significant motivation for doing it. Even if readers don’t follow all of the authors’ advice, they will benefit.
Grose, Anouchka. Why Do Fools Fall in Love: A Realist’s Guide to Romance. Tin House. Jan. 2011. c.232p. index. ISBN 9781935639008. pap. $15.95. SELF-HELP
Rather than providing readers with a how-to-do-it-better book, psychoanalyst Grose explores falling in and out of love over and over again. She draws from ancient philosophy, opera scores, and modern psychology to explore the relation between love and hate, the attraction of being unhappy in love, and why love drives people to insanity. Grose also answers such questions as what to do if one isn’t loved back, how to be dedicated without being dull, and when monogamy is a good idea. Her practicality and use of numerous examples ranging from Sex and the City to Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence add to the book’s appeal.
Jackson, Tracey. Between a Rock and a Hot Place: Why Fifty Is Not the New Thirty. Harper: HarperCollins. Mar. 2011. c.304p. ISBN 9780061669279. $25.99. SELF-HELP
Finally, there is a voice of reality to counter the claims of a youth-oriented culture and put forward the idea that successful aging isn’t about denying reality, but planning for the future. Screenwriter Jackson writes with the humor of Nora Ephron, the honesty of a fiftysomething, and the reality of medical science to commiserate on the aging process (e.g., death of friends) and help readers prepare for the best future life possible. Jackson acknowledges what needs to be done (e.g., getting that colonoscopy and making wise financial choices) in a way that fellow baby boomers will appreciate. Recommended for all public libraries and as a birthday gift for friends turning 60 (fiftysomethings may still be in denial).
Kardaras, Nicholas. How Plato and Pythagoras Can Save Your Life: The Ancient Greek Prescription for Health & Happiness. Conari: Red Wheel/Weiser. Apr. 2011. c.238p. illus. bibliog. ISBN 9781573244756. $21.95. SELF-HELP
After a near-death experience, licensed psychotherapist and former nightclub owner Kardaras transformed his life through the practices of Greek philosophy, and he wants to share his insights. To be in harmony with the universe, our consciousness and bodies have to be tuned with a healthy lifestyle and consciousness-expanding meditations. He provides exercises and readings to do just that, plus a substantial amount of researched information on philosophy in general, Greek philosophy in particular, and the concept of the transcendent realm. For college-educated readers with an affinity for philosophical and holistic approaches to life, this book is exceptional.
Littauer, Florence & Rose Sweet. Personality Plus at Work: How To Work Successfully with Anyone. Revell. Jan. 2011. c.224p. ISBN 9780800730543. pap. $13.99. SELF-HELP
Authors of Personality Plus for Couples and other series titles, Littauer and Sweet use Hippocrates’ theory of four personality types as a jumping-off place. They detail the sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic personalities and demonstrate how the understanding of one’s own personality style and those of coworkers can foster communication and allay misunderstandings. Helpful charts depict each type’s emotional needs, their presentation style, personality problems, and what activities they do best. The authors include several chapters on special working relationships such as spousal partnerships, multilevel, marketing, real estate, and others. The quizzes and personality information make for compelling reading, as one assigns types to friends, coworkers, and family members. Great for self-understanding and improving work relationships.
Mikulka, Charlette. Peace in the Heart and Home: A Down-to-Earth Guide to Creating a Better Life for You and Your Loved Ones. Kittacanoe. Mar. 2011. c.296p. index. ISBN 9780984490301. pap. $19.95. SELF-HELP
To counter the rise in family conflict and marital discord, licensed clinical social worker Mikulka has written a guidebook for achieving greater peace and happiness. She details the factors that play into physical and emotional distress, behavioral problems, and relationship drama. Her antidotes are based on imparting to readers a clearer understanding of psychological and biochemical factors of their emotional style and ways to modify behaviors for the benefit of the family. To read this book is akin to going to family therapy sessions and delving into issues and possibilities for a better future.
Patterson, Kerry & others. Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success. Business Plus: Grand Central. Apr. 2011. c.288p. bibliog. ISBN 9780446573917. $26.99. SELF-HELP
From the Change Anything Labs at the base of Utah’s Wasatch Mountains comes an extremely practical toolkit from the authors of Influencer and Crucial Conversations. The good news (and this book is all positive) is that you can get out of debt, beat addictions, lose weight, build healthy relationships, and become more successful in your career if you understand what the authors call the “six sources of influence that affect daily decisions.” The authors claim that the concept of willpower is incomplete and only a very small part of overcoming obstacles. They relay six practices to use, including making the right choices pleasurable, finding accomplices in change, and bribing oneself to change. They offer awareness and positive steps to all who seek change in their lives.
Salzberg, Sharon. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation; A 28-Day Program. Workman. 2010. c.224p. ISBN 9780761159254. pap. $14.95 with CD. SELF-HELP
In an inviting, easy-to-follow format, Salzberg (Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness), cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society, provides a 28-day program for incorporating meditation into one’s life. Written for beginners, the book explains breathing and sitting techniques, the science behind the practice, and 12 guided meditations. Interspersed throughout are FAQs from Salzberg’s students regarding their difficulties with the practice. The accompanying CD includes nine meditations to guide readers through breathing, walking, emotional, and loving-kindness exercises. This is one of the best guides for anyone interested in exploring meditation or mindfulness.
Sharp, John R., M.D. The Emotional Calendar: Understanding Seasonal Influences and Milestones To Become Happier, More Fulfilled, and in Control of Your Life. Times Bks: Holt. Jan. 2011. c.288p. bibliog. ISBN 9780805091304. $26. SELF-HELP
Sharp (neuropsychiatrist, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Ctr., Boston) helps readers understand themselves through seasonal, cultural, and personal calendars. Sharp goes way beyond seasonal affective disorder to discuss the impact of experiences and expectations for a particular season, which can bring on euphoria, depression, or something in between. He points out calendar hotspots (e.g., summer vacations, football season, and birthdays) that can reawaken dormant feelings, and cultural calendars (“Hallmark holidays”) that can throw someone off balance. The solution is awareness. Sharp advocates embracing the seasons—becoming attuned to one’s own reactions to life as organized into manageable time periods. A novel and thought-provoking path to self-understanding.
Steel, Piers. The Procrastination Equation: How To Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done. Harper: HarperCollins. Jan. 2011. c.320p. bibliog. index. ISBN 9780061703614. $25.99. SELF-HELP
Why you “put off till tomorrow what you can do today” forms the crux of Steel’s (human resources & organizational dynamics, Univ. of Calgary, Canada) book, in which he not only answers that question but details specific techniques to reign in the impulse. While 95 percent of the population tends to procrastinate sometimes, chronic offenders tend to be more impulsive. This stated, Steel delves into the realm of motivation and shares techniques to reframe the goals of a task vs. the difficulties involved. For instance, he suggests that one focus on having energy rather than not being tired and starting early rather than not being late. While Steel offers good advice, getting to the essence involves reading chapters of text and examples. Easy to put off reading.
Tipping, Colin. Radical Self-Forgiveness: The Direct Path to True Self-Acceptance. Sounds True. Jan. 2011. c.280p. ISBN 9781604070903. pap. $16.95. SELF-HELP
This is a spiritual guide for quieting one’s own oppressive critic and healing self-inflicted wounds. In the first part, Tipping (Radical Forgiveness) provides a number of exercises that help readers explore all the characters, or “tapes,” as the lingo goes, operating in their minds. In the second part, Tipping focuses on practicalities and uses work sheets to explore the five stages of radical self-forgiveness: telling the story, feeling the feelings, collapsing the story, reframing the story, and integrating the shift. While the author expresses genuine compassion and guidance for the journey of self-forgiveness, his book is most suitable for college-educated readers intent on seriously working through the steps he provides.
Wann, David. The New Normal: An Agenda for Responsible Living. Griffin: St. Martin’s. Jan. 2011. c.304p. bibliog. ISBN 9780312575434. pap. $14.99. SELF-HELP
Wann follows up on his previous book, Simple Prosperity, which teaches readers how to have a sustainable life, with this one that shows them how to transform a nonsustainable culture into one that will nurture the planet and preserve the world. Wann pulls from the disciplines of biology, anthropology, history, and psychology to make his case that the current paradigm of bigger and more is not working. He proposes the “Era of Emerging Restoration,” in which healthy families, communities, and ecosystems are the best measures of wealth. What differentiates this from the more zealous ecological literature are Wann’s 32 specific “New Normal Agenda Points,” from buying organic and American to pushing for legislation to designing with nature. This is one of the best approaches to promoting a sustainable world.
