Parenting Short Takes: Roughhousing, Girlie Girls & "Momarchy"
By Julianne J. Smith Jan 20, 2011I have been personally overwhelmed by parenting as of late: between my daughter's stomach bug, my son's cub scout pinewood derby car failing inspection, trips to the principal's office, and some vigilante playground justice, life is very busy and very unproductive. To worsen matters, my son nonchalantly asked me, "Mom, how do you get pregnant?" Whoa! Wasn't expecting that one.
All this reaffirmed that the best parenting books deal in specifics: ounces to pump, hours to sleep, things to pack, words to consider. In January 2010, I reviewed a great title by Linda Goldman called Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Sex. Little did I know I would soon be getting my karmic comeuppance. Do you have a favorite on the birds and the bees? Send me a note at smith@ypsilibrary.org.
Benson, Peter L. Parent, Teacher, Mentor, Friend: How Every Adult Can Change Kids' Lives. Search Inst. 2010. 256p. ISBN 9781574822830. pap. $7.95. CHILD REARING
Please, please, please don't judge this book by its cover! Youth development leader Benson offers concise, hopeful, and practical suggestions for connecting with young people in your community-from building authentic and sustained relationships to helping support youth-centered policies. His experience and knowledge show in the solid suggestions for positive change ranging from everyday moments (there are those specifics!) to long-term goals. The Search Institute has operated for more than 50 years and is widely recognized for its "developmental assets" work with young people. Highly recommended for anyone who works with youths.
Burke, Brooke. The Naked Mom: Motherhood Revealed. NAL: Penguin Group (USA). Feb. 2011. c.304p. illus. ISBN 9780451232335. $25.95. CHILD REARING
Really, Brooke? Totally nude? I get the play on words, but honestly! Maybe I'm just jealous. A-hem: the Dancing with the Stars host gives readers an inside look at her life as a mother of four, TV host, and CEO of her own company. Covering such topics as beauty, guilt, career, and emotional challenges, she shares her story in the spirit of honoring "smart, sexy, soulful moms," hoping to inspire other women to find confidence and "keep dancing even when life seems to be getting the best of you." Burke's popularity will definitely create library demand; the book jacket will likely be the talk of the town. Purchase accordingly.
Converse, Judy. Special-Needs Kids Go Pharm-Free: Nutrition-Focused Tools To Help Minimize Meds and Maximize Health and Well-Being. Perigee: Penguin Group (USA). 2010. 273p. index. ISBN 9780399536229. pap. $15.95. CHILD REARING
Unlike drugs, dietary supplements don't require FDA approval before marketing. Because the manufacturer determines the dosage and they're often without scientific support from peer-reviewed journals, it can be difficult to ascertain a supplement's true effectiveness. Still, there is little doubt that nutritional supplements can play a helpful role in addressing health concerns. Dietitian Converse focuses on special-needs children and outlines various nutritional tools parents can use to reduce or eliminate medications, tackling such issues as special-needs babies, growth impairments, and attention and anxiety problems. Her style is a bit scientific, but she is comprehensive and realistic. Parents seeking a holistic method to assist their special-needs child will find much value here; recommended.
DeBenedet, Anthony T. & Lawrence J. Cohen. The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It. Quirk Bks. May 2011. 192p. ISBN 9781594744877. pap. $14.95. CHILD REARING
Giddyup, Dad! Hands-on play with your kids guarantees enormous fun (and probably some crying, but it's worth it). Say the authors, a physician and a psychologist, respectively, "What was once a motto of Safety First has evolved into a fretful new motto of Safety Only. Many parents are more frightened by skinned knees and bruised feelings than life's real dangers: stifled creativity and listless apathy." Amen! Making their case for creativity, physical fitness, and emotional intelligence, the authors present nearly 200 pages of humorous and fun activities, such as the Balboa ("Yo, Adrian!"), the Sleeping Bat, and the Greek Catapult. Replete with suggested age ranges, a difficulty level, and effective drawings for each activity, this book nicely caters to kids from zero to ten, who will treasure the time parents spend roughhousing with them. Enthusiastically recommended.
Orenstein, Peggy. Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. Harper: HarperCollins. Feb. 2011. 272p. bibliog. index. ISBN 9780061711527. $25.99. CHILD REARING
New York Times best-selling author Orenstein (Waiting for Daisy) asks, "Does playing Cinderella shield girls from early sexualization or prime them for it?" Do boys explore the world while girls explore femininity? Where is the happily ever after when self-objectification has been proven to contribute to eating disorders, depression, low self-esteem, and impaired academic performance? Orenstein has long championed women's issues and here continues addressing the extreme "girly girl" culture and the effects of this commercialization. From visiting Pottery Barn Kids to shadowing beauty pageant families, Orenstein takes an insightful self-tour of sexualized girlhood in America, reminding parents that we cannot "keep the world at bay, but [can] prepare our daughters so they can thrive within it." Recommended. (Index not seen.)
Stanton, Glenn T. Secure Daughters, Confident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity. Multnomah. Jan. 2011. 288p. ISBN 9781601422941. pap. $14.99. CHILD REARING
Focus on the Family heavy hitter Stanton examines gender and parenting from a Christian perspective, adding to a large and controversial body of literature. When he advocates for allowing kids to flex their muscles in ways honoring their gender's drive, he is often humorous and nimble; when he branches out and exalts, "it's not a weakness that women want to be led, protected, and cared for," he leaves this reader's good graces. We don't need to do any species-leaping to appreciate nature's differences, yet Stanton's reductionist conclusions will not prove helpful for realizing children's potential. For conservative audiences only.
Steinberg, Laurence. You and Your Adolescent: The Essential Guide for Ages 10-25. S. & S. Jan. 2011. 448p. index. ISBN 9781439166031. pap. $15. CHILD REARING
Nationally recognized adolescence expert Steinberg revises his 1997 title to include e-issues, extending the end of adolescence from age 20 to 25. The good news is "the horror stories you have heard about adolescence are false," which has been confirmed in much research of late and over time. Dream children do not become rogue teens overnight; parents are not helpless in the face of the peer group; and the "decline of the family" has not doomed our children to despise authority figures. Steinberg reiterates what successful parenting looks like and gives both general guidelines and concrete suggestions, highlighting mistakes parents often make. Adolescence books abound, yet Steinberg should be one of the first go-to titles for parents. Essential.
Toussaint, Angela M. The Momarchy: Single Mom's Guide to Guilt Free Parenting! www.lulu.com. Jan. 2011. 136p. ISBN 9780557582716. pap. $16.95. CHILD REARING
Single mom Toussaint believes that "our professional, social, and romantic lives rotate around the needs of our children" and that our desire for "fairy tale existences free of pain and disappointment" is contributing to children's insecurities. Taking back her life, she developed the "Momarchy," which is basic adherence to the principle "When Mama is happy, everybody is happy." While she credits life as a single mother as her only credentials, her story and advice nonetheless humorously incorporate what most long-term parenting research advises. This title isn't a collection necessity, but it is certainly effective, realistic, humorous, and enjoyable. Good for you, Toussaint!
Walton, Susan. Coloring Outside Autism's Lines: 50+ Activities, Adventures, and Celebrations for Families with Children with Autism. Sourcebooks. 2010. 224p. ISBN 9781402241208. pap. $14.99. CHILD REARING
Of the multitude of books about parenting autistic children, I'll bet you don't have many on having fun. Walton, mother of a child with autism, knows that "there are days when autism feels like a lifetime punishment for an unknown crime." Fully respecting the unbending need for a consistent routine, she reminds readers that "not everything has to be therapeutic" and that "no one can or should live under constant obligation all of the time." To that end, she provides a practical handbook for parents, suggesting in-house, yard, holiday, and community activities with appropriate modifications to make both preparations and outings successful for everyone. On-target and extremely necessary.
Weinstein, Alisa T. Earn It, Learn It: Teach Your Child the Value of Money, Work, and Time Well Spent. Sourcebooks. Jan. 2011. 400p. ISBN 9781402242076. pap. $14.99. CHILD REARING
Weinstein founded Earn My Keep, a simple program to teach kids ages four to 12 how to turn their allowance into money-making jobs based on real careers instead of simply taking out the garbage. Kids choose from various careers and are allowed to select their own tasks and deadlines (suggestions provided). When they complete the work, it's payday! All careers have three levels, accommodating the youngest earners up to older children, as well as symbols indicating the topics or skills involved (art, math, manners, money management, etc.). An exciting concept back by research that isn't as home schoolish as it sounds; I'm trying it with my own kids.
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