Parenting Short Takes: Brats and Idle Parents
Jun 16, 2010After last month’s depressing offerings as far as subjects go, June, like the weather, is considerably sunnier. The galleys reviewed this month are mostly for kids in elementary school and up, but academics and professionals will want to review Kranowitz and Pedro-Carroll, while public libraries will want to consider all titles below. There’s not a dud in the bunch, and that, people, is a good day in both parenting and publishing! Happy shopping.
Braun, Betsy Brown. You’re Not the Boss of Me: Brat-Proofing Your 4- to 12-year-old Child. Harper Collins. May 2010. 320p. ISBN 978-0-06-134663-7. $15.99. CHILD REARING
Brown Braun (Just Tell Me What to Say) defines a “brat” as a child “who doesn’t feel significant, who doesn’t feel as if he plays a meaningful role, and who needs to feel that he has a purpose in the life of the family.” Beginning with communication skills, Braun then proceeds to outline tips for cultivating empathy, building independence, teaching responsibility, creating a respectful child, instilling honesty in your child, building a self-reliant child, cultivating gratitude, eliminating spoilage in your child, and bringing humor into a child’s life. While the information is good, the incessant series of lines and bullets make the book a bit hard on the eyes. The title is also a bit of a misnomer, as this is really a holistic parenting book that far exceeds the specific topic of bratty behavior; however, as the former, it is recommended for public libraries.
Cohen, Harlan. The Happiest Kid on Campus: Everything a Parent Needs to Know to Help You and Your Child Have an Amazing College Experience. Sourcebooks. May 2010. 600p. ISBN 978-1-4022-3942-7. pap. $14.99. CHILD REARING
Not even one generation ago, leaving for college meant a hug and a kiss at the dorm, followed by “Be good and see you at Thanksgiving!” Have kids changed that much? Do we really need a 600-page book on sending our kids to college? Cohen (The Naked Roommate) attempts to cover every imaginable base and here provides parents with both a look back and a look forward, covering the technological tools that make instant (and constant) communication an every-day reality, the trend of universities and colleges to involve parents in more and more aspects of student life, and how parents can be engaged without being annoying. While he purports to be opposed to helicopter parenting, the sheer amount of the detailed information provided feels overwhelming, despite his “ha-ha” style. Part 2 covers common college scenarios, such as Greek Life, underage drinking, homesickness, and sexual experimentation. Parents who are severely below the technological curve will find value here, as will those who either did not attend college themselves or else are sending a child for the first time. Recommend this to anxious parents who are trying not to be.
*** Hodgkinson, Tom. The Idle Parent: Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids. Penguin. May 2010. 272p. ISBN 978-1-58542-800-7. $15.95. CHILD REARING
British writer Hodgkinson (The Freedom Manifesto) believes the best way to raise children is to leave them alone (and pour yourself another cocktail while you’re at it). Relying heavily on the classical works John Locke and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, his arguments, while often stated tongue-in-cheek, have no small amount of validity to them, such as “just as skipping work for adults is a way of clawing back some dignity we have lost through enslaving ourselves to the corporation, so naughtiness is the child’s attempt to resist tyranny.” He states that “overmothering results in simpering dependence on the part of the child” and that parents should strive to be idle to instill independence in their offspring. The British humor adds a great deal to this title; it is funny, erudite, and will stick with the reader long after the last page is read. Buy it and recommend it; put it on display and push it with readers, especially those fond of works like Skenazy’s Free-Range Kids. Like children themselves, readers will thank you in the long run.
*** Kranowitz, Carol and Joye Newman. Growing an In-Sync Child: Simple, Fun Activities to Help Every Child Develop, Learn, and Grow. Perigee. May 2010. 240p. index. ISBN 978-0-399-53583-3. $15.95. CHILD REARING
Kranowitz, bestselling author of The Out-of-Sync Child, here takes a proactive approach toward developing the necessary motor development skills that will prepare a child for later academic and social success. Physical development and mastery must precede academic education and parents do their child no favors by pushing early reading or penmanship. As Kranowitz wisely states, “Human development permits no shortcuts.” The brief introductory chapters introduce readers to the various skill sets children must master (sensory processing, perceptual motor, and visual skills), followed by a wealth of exercises to do at home with your child, broken into beginning, intermediate, and advanced categories. Equally valuable to parents of children with and without motor development issues, this pairs nicely with Egan’s Is It a Big Problem or a Little Problem, as well as Isbell’s Everyday Play, which focuses more on fine motor skills. Highly recommended.
Pearman, Christopher B. Dream So Big: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Child Believe and Achieve. Adams Media. Jun. 2010. 256p. ISBN 978-1-4405-0402-0. $19.95. CHILD REARING
The father of child star Raven-Symone (Disney’s That’s So Raven) here shares his eight “dream catcher” principles for channeling the good into kids and maximizing their potential. Raven, of course, wrote the preface, saying “When I was just three, my dream came true when I got on The Cosby Show, and daddy confirms that he knew Raven-Symone would be a star from the beginning. Pearman argues that true parental bliss will come when you invest in your children’s dreams, synthesizing yours with theirs. Toward that end, his Dream Catchers advise: pay attention, believe it, picture it, aim straight, get real, kill fear, do good, and be you. He clearly loves being a parent and is rightfully proud of his daughter, but this title has limited parenting advice. Raven fans might be interested in her father’s perspective, however. (Aside: this book suggests the exact opposite approach of Hodgkinson’s. I would love to hear these two have a conversation together on parenting techniques.)
*** Pedro-Carroll, JoAnne. Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive through Divorce. Avery. May 2010. 352p. ISBN 978-1-58333-401-0. $16. CHILD REARING
Psychologist and researcher Pedro-Carroll gives parents an academic, insider look at how divorce affects children, sharing her years of experience listening to children share feelings that they’re uncomfortable discussing with their divorced parents. Citing such research as divorce being “second only to death in the degree of stress if perpetrates,” parents will be better prepared to listen to what is not being said, and to address children’s common magical fears, such as “if you can just leave someone you supposedly loved, what will happen if you stop loving me?” This is heart-breakingly honest (“For too many children, the pain of divorce lasts a lifetime, waxing and waning at various points along the way, but with an enduring yearning for how things might have been”) but Pedro-Carroll is firm in her advice that of all the messages conveyed to children, reassurance that “your love for them is the kind that will last forever” will go a long way toward strengthening bonds and maintaining communication. Highly recommended.
Saunders, Len. Keeping Kids Fit: A Family Plan for Raising Active, Healthy Children. Independent Publishers Group. May 2010. 230p. index. ISBN 978-1-934184-26-8. $15.95. CHILD REARING
With Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative for addressing kids reaching an all-time new level of fat, we can expect the fitness titles to be coming out fast and furious. Saunders has been working the TV circuit to promote his new title on childhood fitness, so you may have heard the buzz already. In three parts he addresses how to break bad habits and start healthy ones; a plan for putting that information into action; and integrating nutrition, hydration, and sleep into a “total health” package. Replete with ways to motivate kids, sample exercises with drawings, and guidelines on proper nutrition (including a few sample menus), the motivated parent has every tool needed to get on the path toward health. Weight Watchers’ Eat, Move Play is another recent winner on children’s health and fitness.
Snyder, Debra. Intuitive Parenting: Listening to the Wisdom of Your Heart. Beyond Words. May 2010. 224p. ISBN 978-1-58270-250-6. $15. CHILD REARING
When Snyder’s daughter was born with microcephaly, she was told that her baby would in all likelihood live no longer than a month at best. Already aware of her lifelong intuitive abilities, Snyder began extensive research into alternative communication methods, ultimately earning a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and Board Certification as a Holistic Health Practitioner. She has here developed an intuitive energy protocol called “HeartGlow,” which parents can develop to converse and bond with Indigo or Crystal children or else those with autism or other communication disorders. Snyder’s story is sad yet hopeful, and she believes her daughter’s tragedy “triggered the Divine energy deep in our hearts and reminded us of our connection to God.” This book will have a place in public libraries with large alternative health or new age readers. Crawford’s The Highly Intuitive Child would complement nicely.
