Self-Help

To Driver, who has taught interviewing and deception-detecting courses for the U.S. federal government, knowing how to read people and project oneself successfully brings confidence and power. Using photographs, self-assessment tools, and exercises, she shows readers how to decode posture, arm/leg crossing, head nodding, and so forth toward gauging honesty, interest, and goodwill. Driver also describes how to use power gestures (e.g., hand-steepling) to convey authority and the "belly button rule" to build rapport. Driver intimately knows her subject and is able to convey it in a way that tempts readers to partake in the lessons.

The relationship between a mother and her daughter-in-law is often fraught; journalist Fisher (Dating for Dads) covers the situation in depth with empathy, drawing on dozens of interviews with women and discussions with psychologists to offer a balanced approach to established or potential problems. Two points stand out: it's not acceptable for sons to keep their heads in the sand to avoid conflict, and the only person's perspective a mother-in-law can change is her own. While the presentation of what can go wrong may be overwhelming, the advice is sound.

According to psychotherapist Friedman, the root of most emotional distress is suppressed anger and resentment toward others, ourselves, or the world in general. Here he uses a hypothetical client to explain his seven-step plan for examining and repositioning oneself in order to restore inner peace. The exercises, which range from physical tapping techniques to karate chops to letter writing and affirmations, require extreme resolve and openness to New Age beliefs. A great concept for those with a work ethic and an open mind.

Fuller (When Teens Pray) and her daughter, Plum, write from the heart as they talk about how they managed to get through their conflicts and differences to build a satisfying relationship. A lot of the book addresses understanding and accepting differences in each other's thoughts and feelings and learning to relate in new ways; listening is key. The authors' openness and honesty make this a gripping read. Fuller's Christian perspective shouldn't get in the way of what could be a life-enhancing book.

Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Gill (How Starbucks Saved My Life) managed to lose everything he had, then come back with a new appreciation for people and the ordinary moments of life. In his engrossing second book, he offers advice for weathering the downs. His suggestions range from listening to other survivors and accepting help to laughing more and taking leaps of faith. While other writers often weave too much ego into their message, Gill has created an engrossing work without boosting himself. Bound to please and encourage. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 9/1/09.]

Using exercises, anecdotes, and tools to improve communication and understanding, psychologist Hoistad demonstrates how couples can resolve conflicts and improve the positive aspects of their relationship. Her ten-step toolkit helps both members of a couple remember why they were attracted to each other, learn to find new options together, put issues on the table, and create mutual appreciation. Sometimes, it's the little things, such as being aware of the other's likes and dislikes; other times, it's a willingness to be open to change. Nothing novel here, but couples will find that this book does simplify the process of learning to listen and understand each other, even if only one of them reads the book.

In the tradition of Betty Friedan, Yale psychology professor Nolen-Hoeksema (Women Who Think Too Much) celebrates "the power of women"—their patience, optimism, and resiliency. Her "personal fitness program" includes exercises to help women be more assertive and feel comfortable about asking for help. Nolen-Hoeksema gives a good pep talk, but her intended audience is unclear; it's hardly true that all women and no men possess the attributes she praises. This book might have had more impact 20 years ago.

In this painful but effective book, journalist Russo explores what she calls the "twilight transition," when the end of the family as one knew it is near, and one intensely reengages with siblings. This period—which many boomers are living or entering—is laden with new challenges: adapting to a new adult role, confronting old sibling conflicts, and making peace with the loss of parents. Once again, readers are asked to understand one another and look at things through others' eyes. Russo also covers the "posttwilight" period, when one needs to mourn, move on, and sustain family connections into the future. More than a how-to book, this groundbreaking work illuminates a difficult stage of life.

According to professional mediator Sherts, connecting with others while achieving personal growth and maintaining individual freedom is a balancing act. To help readers manage both, he illustrates communication blocks (e.g., analyzing, using guilt) and offers substitute connectors that aid in hearing and responding in a healthy manner (e.g., asking how to help). Much of his material is an elaboration of the concept of active listening, but he also covers codependence, facilitated problem solving, and collaborative negotiation with practical applications. While the author could have said it in fewer pages, his material will offer fresh insights and ideas to any self-help reader.

Swenson scored a best seller with Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives; his latest is also geared toward helping adults reorder their priorities to find more purpose and joy in their lives. Swenson denounces uncontrolled profusion (e.g., bigger houses, lavish weddings) as the cause of uncontrolled stress and imbalance in most of the population. He counsels the reader to resist escalating norms and to weigh positives and negatives on such things as allowing interruptions, taking on discretionary burdens, and social networking. While his recommendations are quite good, he spends well over half the book laying out the dilemma of imbalance and less space on solutions. Those who want to commiserate over a changing world and get off the treadmill will enjoy this book.

Passionate yogini and author Wilson (Hip Tranquil Chick) aims to inspire young women to design their lives with "mindful extravagance"—embracing the fun and fashionable while practicing healthy living and doing good for society at large. To do this requires balance in the areas of spirituality, creativity, and entrepreneurship, and Wilson offers a wide variety of suggestions. The book boils down to a compendium on meditation, yoga, arts and crafts, and starting a business that functions as a jumping-off point for further investigation. Young women who are looking for direction or something more will undoubtedly enjoy this.

Psychologist and best-selling author Wiseman (Quirkology) draws on scientific research to help people achieve their dreams and ambitions in a matter of minutes rather than months. Contrary to popular thinking, he says, playing hard to get, visualizing the ideal plan, and offering rewards for achievement don't work. Instead, the author suggests bonding over dislikes, imagining the achievement of a goal, and praising effort over the finished product. Although some of Wiseman's findings would definitely improve one's life if adopted, others seem far-fetched. Wait for the paperback. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 9/1/09.]