Martha Cornog's Dirty Dozen: 12 Manuals for Getting It On
Martha Cornog -- Library Journal, 01/30/2009
What makes a great sex guide, one that readers remember fondly and that libraries should order for their patrons' pleasure and enlightenment?
I’ve been reviewing sex books for LJ since 1972*, and I’ve been thinking about which ones stand out and why. First, a sex guide has to give sound, accurate advice, allowing for individual points of view. Second, it should in fact have a point of view, a unique voice, a memorable flavor. Third, let’s add the element of zest. The best sex guides know they’re hot stuff, and they wear it lightly with humor.
Finally, as with all nonfiction books, the support features should be there as appropriate: illustrations, maybe an index, references, and resources. Yet, you’d be amazed at the number of sex guides that falter here. Fortunately, this dirty dozen—representing 30-plus years of publishing and ranked from general to specialized—scores on all counts and deserves a Valentine’s Day display up front.
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1. Winks, Cathy & Anne Semans. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written. 3d ed. Cleis. 2002. 325p. illus. bibliog. index. ISBN 978-1-57344-158-2. pap. $25.95.
Still one of the best all-around guides out there, from two veterans of the sex toy business. For all sexual orientations and interests. Numerous quotes from toy store customers and readers of prior editions, along with a whole chapter on safe sex. (LJ 7/94)
2. Locker, Sari. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. 3d. ed. Alpha: Penguin Group (USA). 2005. 480p. illus. index. ISBN 978-1-59257-327-1. pap. $19.95.
Who’s the idiot? Certainly not Dr. Locker or anyone with the sense to work their way through this comprehensive handbook with dozens of tips and sidebars. A chapter on safe sex, plus one on breast, pelvic, and testicular exams.
3. Rosenau, Douglas E. A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy. Thomas Nelson. rev. ed. 2002. 384p. illus. bibliog. index. ISBN 978-0-7852-6467-5. pap. $17.99.
If sex has a bad rap among Christians, it’s not God’s fault, and here’s why and how to enjoy his wonderful gift. A conservative Christian guide with a joyful approach to the sensual.
4. Dubberley, Emily. Sex for Busy People: The Art of the Quickie for Lovers on the Go. Fireside: S. & S. 2006. 80p. illus. ISBN 978-0-7432-8468-4. pap. $9.95.
A spicy collection of sexual shortcuts serving up adventure, fun, and cute, multiethnic drawings without skimping on satisfaction. A lot more tasty than fast food. (LJ 2/1/06)
5. Kerner, Ian. She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. Collins Living. 2004. 240p. illus. bibliog. ISBN 978-0-06-053825-5. $22.99.
6. Kerner, Ian. Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man. Collins Living. 2008. 224p. illus. bibliog. ISBN 978-0-06-083439-5. pap. $15.95.
Twin manuals for pleasing the other gender, both written by a man. Passionista has substantial content on psychosocial matters and somewhat less on techniques. The first edition of Passionista was published under the title He Comes Next.
7. Paget, Lou. How To Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques That Will Blow His Mind. Broadway. 1999. illus. bibliog. ISBN 978-0-7679-0287-8. $20.
8. Paget, Lou. How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man To Know. Broadway. 2000. 240p. illus. bibliog. ISBN 978-0-7679-0452-0 . $20.
Twin manuals for pleasing the other gender, written by a woman, that emphasize techniques. Both books have chapters on safety. (How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure, LJ 1/00)
9. Paget, Lou. Hot Mamas: The Ultimate Guide to Staying Sexy Throughout Your Pregnancy and the Months Beyond. Doubleday Canada. 2006. 256p. illus. bibliog. index. ISBN 978-0-385-66050-1. pap. $15.
What to expect when sex becomes—well, a threesome: guy, gal, and fetus. With Sex and the City–style hipness, lots of illustrations for erotic positioning, and answers galore about medical, physical, and psychological questions.
10. Butler, Robert N. & Myrna I. Lewis. The New Love and Sex After 60. rev. ed. Ballantine. 2002. 400p. bibliog. index. ISBN978-0-345-44211-6. pap. $14.95.
Seventy may be the new 50, but tell that to the ol’ bod. As we age, our physical and mental responses can work a little differently. First published in 1976 and updated several times, this guide recaps what to expect and what to do about it. Gay-friendly, too. No illustrations. (LJ 12/01)
11. Kaufman, Miriam & others. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness. 2d ed. Cleis. 2007. 360p. illus. bibliog. index. ISBN 978-1-57344-304-3. pap. $18.95.
Can you use a condom with a catheter? How do you have intercourse in a wheelchair? A comprehensive resource on sexual anatomy, response, issues, and techniques with an extensive resource section. Also very good: Ken Kroll and Erica Levy Klein’s Enabling Romance (No Limits Communications, 2001), featuring somewhat less on techniques and more about relationships and reproductive issues. (The Ultimate Guide, LJ 2/15/04; Enabling Romance, LJ 2/15/92)
12. Colombo, Luann. How To Have Sex in the Woods. Three Rivers. 1999. 191p. bibliog. ISBN 978-0-609-80402-5. pap. $10.95.
A lively and useful guide to alfresco frolics, including what to pack, personal hygiene, critter problems from sand crabs to bears, woodsy sex games, The Law, and food and drink—with recipes. On a related note, consider Kathleen Meyer’s mostly serious How To Shit in the Woods (Ten Speed Press, 1994), an excellent primer on the DIY green latrine.
*Martha is too modest to mention that she was our 2001 Nonfiction Reviewer of the Year on the strength of her sex book evaluations. For more Martha, check out her sex guide roundups "Hot and Heavy Harmony" (2007), 'The Go-Go Golden Libido" (2006), and "Get Your Eros On, and On" (LJ 2/1/05).—Heather McCormack
