Self-Help

Just for fun comes this browsable guide that explains why certain things are considered lucky and how to partake of their real or imagined power. Trustees for the Society for Fortuitous Events, Aaronson and Kwan have studied the many facets of luck, from lucky charms to auspicious gardening. They list lucky foods to eat on New Year's Eve, such as pork in Austria and lasagna in Sicily, and relate what color underwear one should sport to the casino. Patrons will enjoy this book and share it with friends. For all libraries.

Having gone out on a limb and started a business in Anguilla, motivational speakers Bob and Melinda Blanchard (At Blanchard's Table) believe they are qualified to help others realize their dreams. They use the word dream as an acronym for Deciding, Researching, Evaluating, Acting, and Maintaining to chart a path for change and offer exercises and quizzes for self-assessment. While the general information here adds nothing to the self-help genre, this book does offer inspiration to those who are stuck in a rut. Recommended for larger libraries.

As one can gather from the title, Motherhood is geared toward any woman who has ever been a mother. Life coach Roberts encourages readers to experience an "unpregnancy"—that is, to dedicate nine months to nurturing their own life by reclaiming motivation and discovering new ambitions. She divides her message into three "trimesters" and provides various "labors" (journaling exercises and other prompts) to help readers renew themselves. Roberts's advice follows the usual self-examination, dreaming, and goal-setting formula. The pregnancy theme may appeal to some but will get old quickly for others. For larger libraries.

According to counselor/career management coach Borchard, the potential for self-realization is greater in one's senior years than in any earlier stage of life. To help those on the brink of retirement identify their passions and develop a vision for the next phase, he provides a step-by-step approach complete with quizzes, assessment tools, and exercises. While Borchard presents information on the usual topics of transcending the stereotypes of senior citizens and dealing with loss, he concentrates on reinventing oneself and devising a theme for one's new life. The relocation and changing gender roles sections are particularly illuminating. A good choice if an update is needed, although Ellen Freudenheim's Looking Forward: An Optimist's Guide to Retirement is preferable.

Here are two more self-help books aimed at the generation that refuses to grow old. In The Gift of Years, Benedictine sister Chittister beautifully downplays regrets and accents the rewards of a mature life. While she acknowledges the pain of old age, she focuses on the new beginnings that life can offer at this stage and discusses the need to stay involved, to put one's affairs in order, and to be open to new relationships.

Psychoanalyst Schwalbe, on the other hand, dispels negative stereotypes and proposes a number of efforts men (or women) can undertake to make their senior years as rewarding and as satisfying as possible. He discusses cognitive fitness, caregiving, grief, and changes in living arrangements. Two particularly helpful chapters deal with what to do when the late-life goals of spouses differ and how to repartner after death or divorce. Both books offer excellent information and would make a positive contribution to any public library's collection.

Here are two more self-help books aimed at the generation that refuses to grow old. In The Gift of Years, Benedictine sister Chittister beautifully downplays regrets and accents the rewards of a mature life. While she acknowledges the pain of old age, she focuses on the new beginnings that life can offer at this stage and discusses the need to stay involved, to put one's affairs in order, and to be open to new relationships.

Psychoanalyst Schwalbe, on the other hand, dispels negative stereotypes and proposes a number of efforts men (or women) can undertake to make their senior years as rewarding and as satisfying as possible. He discusses cognitive fitness, caregiving, grief, and changes in living arrangements. Two particularly helpful chapters deal with what to do when the late-life goals of spouses differ and how to repartner after death or divorce. Both books offer excellent information and would make a positive contribution to any public library's collection.

In an impressive, uncomplicated manner, psychologist Cramer and advertising industry leader Wasiak show readers how constructive introspection can create positive change. Simply put, asset-based thinking involves looking at oneself and the world in terms of what's working instead of what isn't. Readers are challenged, for example, to focus on what they want and what is possible rather than what is problematic and what stands to be lost. Steps to change personal perceptions in areas like power, influence, and the future are artfully intermingled with beautiful photos, attractive sidebars, and color-highlighted text. A follow-up to the authors' Change the Way You See Everything Through Asset-Based Thinking; highly recommended.

Life coach/trainer de Bonvoisin expands on the change theme by offering readers direction in the changes they want to make. She begins by giving a "change guarantee," which means that from every change, no matter how difficult, good will come. Drawing on real-life stories, she helps readers through the difficult stages of change, taking an in-depth look at resistance to change (the drive that wants things back the old way) and suggesting ways to surmount it. Breaking up, handling a bad health diagnosis, trying to lose weight, and starting a new job are some of the areas covered. For public libraries.

According to Forni (Choosing Civility), founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project (1997–2000), rudeness begets rudeness, and the only way to break the cycle is through assertive and civil behavior. In Part 1 of his latest book, he describes some of the causes of rudeness (e.g., anger, fear, inflated self-worth) and the negative consequences of rude behavior in daily life. He suggests eight rules for a civil life, which include respecting others and paying attention to small things. In Part 2, Forni provides over 70 examples of situations in which rudeness arises and solutions for dealing with them. Readers who have been criticized in public or annoyed by a loud cell phone conversation get realistic help. Highly recommended for all libraries.

According to clinical psychologist Les Parrott and his wife, Leslie, a marriage and family therapist, mutual empathy is the key to improving a relationship. The good news, say the couple, is that this ability can be learned, practiced, and acted upon immediately. The Parrotts deliver their message in three sections, discussing first the essential ingredients of empathy and next the rewards of empathic efforts. Finally, they recommend using the online eHarmony Marriage Profile to take a deeper look at one's relationship. The most helpful advice is to be honest and forthcoming in expressing feelings and needs. Recommended for all libraries.

Because everyone's life includes setbacks as well as successes, it's important to develop coping mechanisms for difficult times. According to radio host Salmansohn (Whip Your Career into Submission), it's essential to be a strong person in order to rebound from life's challenges. The author distills insights from happiness research, medicine, and Eastern meditation and philosophy into 75 tips for becoming stronger and more decisive. "Bounce Back" assignments include surrounding oneself with positive people, establishing and meeting deadlines, and planning ahead for anticipated troublesome situations. Having suffered from adversity herself, Salmansohn writes with honesty and compassion, skillfully guiding readers along.

White, cofounder of the Survivor Corps, aims to help people recover from serious injury or personal catastrophe, drawing on the insights of those who have survived tragedy (White lost his leg in a land mine accident). White posits a five-step program in which he advises his audience to face the facts, choose life, reach out, get moving, and give back. Like Salmansohn, he warns readers to take steps away from victimhood and toward survivorship. A particularly valuable chapter shows how to help others through catastrophe by acknowledging the loss, sharing memories, and pitching in with chores. Both books meet the goals they set and are recommended for both public and academic libraries.

While nurturing a marriage isn't easy for any couple, it may be particularly difficult for those in commuter marriages, in which one member may be overseas, helping an infirm parent, or just working long hours. To help these couples, psychotherapist Tessina (Money, Sex, and Kids) has devised solutions to several challenges, including overcoming jealousy, resolving conflicts, raising healthy kids, and keeping the passion alive. Tessina presents her message through real-life stories and exercises, illustrating what works and what doesn't. Simple, helpful, and relevant; recommended for public libraries.

Generation X-er and 9/11 World Trade Center survivor Whitney-Reiter wrote this book for people who have sought fulfillment to no avail in work, relationships, and radical new philosophies. Her approach to this existential void was to take a year off from work at her Fortune 500 company, embark on international travel, and pursue her passions. Having found this venture highly successful, she helps readers to "unplug," that is, build a life based on vital interests. She discusses how to propose a sabbatical, pay for the adventure, manage responsibilities from afar, and reconnect. While Unplugged offers great information, its appeal will be limited owing to the financial requirements of its proposed work sabbatical. Recommended for libraries serving well-off careerists.