Self-Help

Aiming to help women whose men demand too much and give back too little, psychologist Arden (America's Meltdown: Lowest-Common-Denominator Society) and his wife, Victoria, an arts educator who has worked in the mental-health field, describe how lopsided relationships are begun and how to turn them around. Using lists, quizzes, and real-life vignettes, they detail how to spot red flags, remain optimistic with a pessimist, ask more of a passive partner, and avoid destructive arguments. A particularly helpful chapter guides readers in refusing to walk on eggshells and pamper oversensitivity. A book complete in sound theory and practicality that will undoubtedly appeal to many women; highly recommended for public libraries.

Rather than offer a quick fix, author and life coach Burton (What's Really Holding You Back?: Closing the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want To Be) proposes a self-care lifestyle in which adherents will be less busy and more fruitful, well rounded, and productive. She guides readers through an assessment process and suggests self-care tasks such as taking a full hour for lunch and delegating chores. Each chapter offers several pages of personal stories, a daily challenge, a suggested journal topic, and a one-minute meditation. While the information is sound, there's way too much here to be absorbed and completed on a daily basis. Those pressed for time might find relief, but they'd have to work at it. Optional.

The difference between those who become successful in life and those who struggle is their degree of emotional intelligence (EI), or "people skills," according to human resource coach and EI expert Deutschendorf. EI is made up of a set of skills that enables people to benefit from their own self-actualization and independence in order to interact with others in socially responsible and healthy ways. Deutschendorf provides instructions and exercises to help readers gain these abilities as well as develop stress tolerance, impulse control, and greater capacities for happiness and optimism. A 15-question EI quiz completes the book. Libraries having no sources on EI could benefit from adding this to their collections; otherwise, an optional purchase.

These two very different books are related in their authors' belief in luck and in the ability of individuals to obtain it. Astrologer Dolnick and attorney Davidson's mini reference examines the concept of luck throughout history as observed by a variety of religious sects and practiced in many cultures. The authors help readers develop a personal-luck profile and detail how to apply astrology, numerology, and even herbology toward increasing the odds in one's favor. A practical section on gambling advises readers how to play cards, dice, or the roulette wheel with caution.Holistic practitioner Whitehurst concentrates solely on feng shui and its nine energies, including career, wealth, marriage, and health. After explaining the basic concepts of the discipline, she offers easy techniques for employing these energies. While using one's chi is instrumental, other easy tactics include placing three rosemary plants in the kitchen for healthy financial independence and taping a picture of a mountain onto the back of one's desk chair for career success. Luck will have more general appeal, while Make This Your Lucky Day will draw New Age readers. Both are excellent choices for public libraries.

According to motivational coach Goddard, challenges are opportunities that can help us move forward, grow, and make quantum shifts in life. Drawing on the martial arts, Goddard maintains that one must be able to align body, mind, and soul in order to move through fearful situations successfully. She posits a seven-day plan to help the reader disarm fear triggers and cultivate the calm to overcome any challenge. The book is geared more toward those interested in making life changes (e.g., starting a new business, confronting a long-standing marital problem) than in overcoming clinical phobias. While it doesn't deliver a quick fix, its content is useful. Recommended for larger libraries.

These books use humor to decipher the minds and language of men for the women who seek relationships with them. Grambs (The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting Even) models hers after a travel guide, discussing the culture of "Manland," its language ("Manspeak"), and its mating rituals. She further offers suggestions for everything from extending one's stay in Manland to reading its driving body language.

Saturday Night Live alumn and Essence columnist Mitchell, alternately, gears his book to African Americans, detailing a brother's mindset and take on women. He uses real-life scenarios, flowcharts, diagrams, and multiple-choice tests to teach readers how to meet, date, and have successful relationships with African American men. He also advises on such matters as subjects to avoid on the first date (e.g., one's kids) and the best time to talk to a man (e.g., when he's done eating). Both books are full of excellent information and are highly recommended.

Controversial though it may be, workplace romance is flourishing. Both Losee and Olen, contributors to internationally known newspapers and magazines, met their husbands on the job. They here maintain that the office serves as the village of the 21st century, and they offer rules and suggestions for dating coworkers. Some of their dos include being oneself, taking no for an answer, and discussing the worst-case scenario early in the relationship. Among the don'ts are violating sexual-harassment laws, fighting in the office, and dating a married person. The authors deal honestly with the prevalence of office romances and provide helpful advice for keeping them aboveboard. Recommended for all libraries.

The first step in harnessing one's intuition is to suspend disbelief. So states internationally acclaimed psychic intuitive Margolis, who, together with writer/editor St. George, instructs readers on how to make better decisions and attract desirable people and opportunities. Margolis gives explicit instructions for "hearing" the intuitive voice and shows how to use intuition to read universal energy signals in the areas of relationships, sex, health, work, finances, and children. She adopts the stance of a coach and uses case studies and her own experiences to bring her message home. Those with openness to the vagaries of the unseen will enjoy; recommended for libraries needing to round out the extrasensory sections of their self-help collections.

For those tired of blind dates, failed office romances, and hanging out in bars in search of love comes this new book from the Matchmaking Institute, a New York City-based organization dedicated to introducing singles via certified professional matchmakers in a confidential, safe, and secure manner. Guiding the reader in self-assessment, detailing the method behind the matches, and delineating the process from the first interview to the first round of introductions and relationship coaching, this eye-opening book contains no-nonsense advice and practical information and includes profiles of matchmakers by state. Highly recommended for all libraries.

In an effort to help individuals bring proper spiritual etiquette into a world full of greed, hate, and delusion, psychotherapist and author Richo (How To Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving) offers 52 ways to express kindness and compassion in everyday life. Daily readings open with a single commitment followed by a short commentary containing a practical exercise. For example, the commitment to avoid gossip includes an explanation of why the practice is tempting as well as an exercise for speaking directly to people whose behavior has been unwelcome. The page-long chapters are easy to digest and will undoubtedly assist in achieving positive change. Recommended for most libraries.

Having interviewed 300-plus people on the topic of trust, Stroh (business, Loyola Univ., Chicago; coauthor, The Basic Principles of Effective Consulting) here compiles guidelines and tools to develop more accurate perceptions. She offers definitions of and rules for assessing trustworthiness as well as examples of trustworthy people in the dating, business, and everyday spheres. She also presents chapters on betrayal, second chances, reconciliation, and coping mechanisms. Interestingly, she includes a chapter on trusting oneself (e.g., to diet, be more patient, quit an affair). For a topic so integral to everyday life, trust is rarely so thoroughly explored as it is here. Recommended for all libraries.

Licensed psychotherapist and journal contributor Tessina, who has been happily married for more than 20 years, developed this comprehensive guide to help couples deal with the most emotionally charged problems of many marriages. She breaks down the titular subjects of money, sex, and kids into specific struggles, delves into their root causes, and provides case studies of couples who have dealt successfully—and realistically—with the problems. She further offers a variety of solutions and provides scripts for instigating discussions. The book concludes with guidelines for building mutual, maturing love. Recommended for all public libraries.

Just for fun comes the collected wisdom of seductresses throughout history, compiled by the managing editor of marketing for the New York Public Library. White helps women identify their own sirenlike qualities and assists them in becoming their most enticing selves. She also cites examples of famous sirens—e.g., Nicole Kidman, Coco Chanel, Evita Perón, and Catherine the Great—and distinguishes among five different types: the companion, the competitor, the goddess, the mother, and the sex kitten. Pictures, quizzes, and quotations make this an irresistible read. Highly recommended for all libraries in preparation for Valentine's Day 2008.