Self-Help

As in their previous Ex-Etiquette for Parents and Ex-Etiquette for Weddings, the authors stress cooperation and compromise in this guide for families of divorce navigating holidays and family get-togethers (writer Jupe was married to certified divorce mediator Blackstone-Ford’s husband). The text is made up of ten rules of good ex-etiquette, along with examples of the rules’ practical application. Putting children first is the guiding tenet; readers should use empathy when problem solving and resist the urge to be spiteful. Issues covered include sending out wedding announcements, attending funerals, and helping a child cope when a parent misses a birthday. Full of excellent, practical advice, this is recommended for all public libraries.

These different guides for getting the most out of life target America’s myriad aging baby boomers. Jungian expert Johnson (We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love) and clinical psychologist Ruhl use case studies, Greek myths, and Jungian archetypes to assist readers in becoming more attuned to the movements of the subconscious world, then in harnessing the power of those movements and incorporating them into everyday life. Viewing midlife as an opportunity, the authors provide exercises for self-examination and interpretation. The first step toward wholeness is coming to grips with failed hopes, paths not taken, and bad habits so they may be understood and used to spur future growth. Geared toward college-educated readers with a psychology bent; recommended for larger libraries.

Race You to the Fountain of Youth is, as might be expected, a humorous look at the everyday challenges of aging. Bolton, a former writer for Bob Hope, and Dickson, a past monolog writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, offer chapters like “How To Calculate Your Real Age” and “Why Exercise Sometimes Doesn’t Work.” The authors point out the upside of living to 100 (your number will finally be called at the DMV) and the signs of getting older (watching Grey’s Anatomy just to jot down symptoms). Sure to be a big hit with the 50-plus crowd; highly recommended for all libraries.

Dellasega (humanities & women’s studies, Coll. of Medicine, Penn State Univ.; Surviving Ophelia) presents a groundbreaking work about woman-on-woman aggression within families. Drawing on real-life stories, professional insights, and abundant research, she provides strategies for coping with sabotaging mothers-in-laws, critical sisters, and cruel daughters. She points out that women’s traditional weapons of choice—gossip, undermining, and exclusion—are much more difficult to deflect than the physical fights and guns that men tend to use. With practical advice and tips, readers will learn to think ahead and plan for encounters. Bound to help the many women who want the family to be a safe haven but can’t seem to get there; highly recommended for all libraries.

Rape and sexual assault statistics motivated television journalist Gervasi to write this self-defense primer for women. Although the author has a black belt in karate, she maintains that 90 percent of self-defense is awareness and common sense. She helps readers set up absolute rules and boundaries, sharpen their observation skills, and trust in their intuition. Physical fitness is stressed, and resources are provided for further training. The woman who reads this book will undoubtedly come away with a better chance of beating the statistics. Recommended for all libraries.

Actor Grodin (I Like It Better When You’re Funny) has compiled more than 80 compelling stories meant to help readers learn from their mistakes and those of others. Entries come from people in a variety of fields, including celebrities like Carol Burnett, Steve Somers, and Sen. Orrin G. Hatch. Their humanity shines through as they recount crucial mistakes. Actor Leonard Nimoy discusses the consequences of not listening to the experts, and astronaut Wally Schirra demonstrates how first feelings can be misleading. Highly browsable, this will most likely fly off the shelves. For all libraries. [All the proceeds of this book’s sale go toward HELP USA, a not-for-profit organization aimed at empowering the homeless.—Ed.]

According to body language expert James, poker is one of the greatest games of simple psychology. To win, one must read opponents’ body language and block their attempts to read one’s own. To give readers the winning edge, James first helps them understand their approach to the game and subsequent body language. She then supplies detailed instructions on how to discern opponents’ signals—how they bluff, why they bluff, and what they’re really thinking and planning to do. Her tips for understanding body language and conducting personality analysis can be easily applied to personal lives and the workplace. Recommended for most libraries.

In response to what she sees as the deterioration of moral and ethical values in American society, clinical psychologist Killinger (Workaholics: The Respectable Addicts) offers a prescription for protecting individual and professional integrity and encouraging the development of key personality traits necessary to build character and a healthy conscience. She decries American narcissism and blames it for the encouragement of greed, arrogance, and anger inherent in U.S. culture. The author offers practical suggestions to counter this trend, e.g., taking full responsibility for all actions and reactions, being proactive in seeking solutions, and making decisions based on compassionate feeling and analysis. More personal than Henry Cloud’s business-oriented Integrity, Killinger’s book is geared to college-educated readers. Recommended for public and academic libraries.

According to Moss (Dreaming True: How To Dream Your Future and Change Your Life for the Better), by harnessing the power of the subconscious mind, people can solve problems, see the future, tap creativity, and understand relationships. Moss uses a wealth of his own and others’ experiences to illustrate how dreams have given early warnings and shown paths to better living. He shows readers how to look at the coincidences and incidents of daily life as dream symbols and how to picture and imagine goals and roadblocks. The author makes a convincing case and entices us to try his theories. Recommended for all libraries.

Nepo (The Exquisite Risk: Daring To Live an Authentic Life) uses the original meaning of the word courage—i.e., to stand by one’s core—as a springboard for explaining how to find and live by one’s core in order to face whatever life has to offer. Poetically, he focuses on such quiet everyday braveries as choosing compassion over judgment, aliveness over woundedness, or personal change over comfort. Nepo admits that being courageous isn’t easy but coaches readers through strategies for overcoming obstacles and destructive patterns. New Agers, activists, and anyone interested in improving the global community will appreciate his message. Recommended for most libraries.

Based on the personal experiences of a divorcée (King) and her best friend (O’Connell), this book is designed to help young women navigate the waters of a divorce. King, a senior manager of a financial-services firm, and O’Connell (Bachelorette #1) take turns writing chapters. The former guides readers in getting through the first 24 hours after the decision to split, telling friends and family the news, keeping composure during family gatherings, and dating again. The latter shows how to be a comforting best friend without being a savior and how to relate best to one’s friend’s kids. Particularly helpful chapters include those on choosing lawyers and appearing in court and knowing when and how to date again. With divorce statistics as high as they are, this book should circulate well. Recommended for all libraries.

Drawing on his work as a motivational speaker and coach, Robbins offers a simple but powerful way to improve relationships, create greater success and fulfillment, and experience a deep sense of gratitude for life in general. He points out the harmful repercussions of negativity within individuals and society, then posits his solution: be grateful, positive, and appreciative. Exercises follow each chapter, including such activities as creating “gossip-free” zones, going on a complaint “fast,” and thanking people in a personal way. Robbins offers a refreshing perspective in a cynical world. Recommended for all public libraries.

Observing that men will communicate when they’re put in a scenario that’s moving, challenging, and unthreatening, New Zealand–based writers Silver (Why Cats Paint) and O’Connor (Golf Without Guilt) developed this book of icebreakers to help women get their men to reveal what makes them tick. Intended to be read by couples together, the 150 hypothetical situations offer exercises that suggest, among other things, to ask men to choose between architecture and acrobatics as a career choice and detail plans for escaping from an island on fire. A psychological key for understanding responses follows every situation. The scenarios are clever and fun and could be used as games for parties or family car rides. Hard to put down and highly recommended for all libraries.