Self-Help

Beginning with the premise that people can be creators of their lives rather than victims, life-skills coach Banaszak attempts to help readers achieve their personal goals. Taking off from Lynn Grabhorn's Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting (2003), Banaszak employs the following principles of transformation: know what you want and don't want, get into the feeling place of what you do want, and allow what you want to come into your experience. Recommended techniques include affirmations, visualizations, meditation, and expressions of gratitude. Those who can get past the infomercial-like tone will probably find some helpful advice, but this is fairly standard stuff. An optional purchase.

Activist and web site originator ofscarleteen.com ("Sex ed for the real world"), Corinna has put together a blockbuster of a book for young people dealing with sex and relationships. Much like the authors of Our Bodies, Ourselves and its spinoffs, Corinna answers every possible question teens and young adults could have about virginity, puberty, pregnancy, body image, masturbation, sexual identity, the variety of relationships, and the mechanics of partnered sex. She also addresses topics that are often overlooked, e.g., transgender and intergender identities, realistic teen relationship management skills, and pornography. An excellent resource for preteens, teens, young adults, and people working with these populations; highly recommended for most libraries.

Clinical psychologist Covalt gears her book toward those who can't seem to find satisfaction in long-term relationships. The author believes that the key ingredient to developing fulfilling connections is to acquire emotional intelligence (EQ)—the ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions. She focuses quite a bit on self-awareness and provides checklists and assessments for developing this ability. Exercises within chapters are designed to help readers express their emotions in a healthy manner, empathize with their partner, and handle frustration. While the material is sound, the constant promotion of the author's system as the magic wand is tiring. Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness or Terrence Real's The New Rules of Marriage do a better job.

Made up of essays originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, this compilation by investigative journalist Fried offers a humorous look into the psyche of the average husband. Fried describes in the first person why men have a hard time "dressing up" as they get older, what men talk about when they're naked, and how men deal with the loss of their fathers. In a particularly interesting essay deciphering the male response of "uh-huh," Fried explains that one of the male's goals in life is to monotask rather than its more energetic opposite. An insightful book for both men and women; recommended for all libraries.

These books are designed for those attracted to or involved with people with serious problems. In Crazy Love, clinical psychologists Johnson and Murray delve into personality disorders and the effect mental illness can have on a relationship. They describe the symptoms of 12 disordered types, including the eccentric partner, the dangerous partner, and the withdrawn and needy partner, as well as strategies for avoiding, escaping, or living with the problem. Of particular help are revelations on why the reader might be attracted to certain types and tips for making better choices in the future. In It's So Hard To Love You, psychotherapist Klatte and life-skills coach Thompson help people who are anguished by their relationship with a difficult partner, friend, adult child, or family member yet don't want to cut ties. They help readers shift their focus from changing their difficult loved one to changing their own responses. Suggestions for establishing boundaries, communicating well, and handling negative reactions are detailed and realistic. Both books would make excellent purchases and are recommended for public and academic libraries.

Another prescription for the good life and living in the moment comes from the Kanes (Working on Yourself Doesn't Work), who encourage readers to release problems through awareness. The couple offers a multitude of personal stories to help readers slow down, change course if necessary, and engage in life. A potentially useful chapter helps readers dissolve mechanical behaviors, such as eating when nervous or stockpiling "stuff." Readers are encouraged to have compassion for themselves, access the moment, and get up to speed by slowing down. Recommended for public libraries looking to update their inspirational sections.

In a style reminiscent of Erma Bombeck, former English professor Konig (Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road) reveals what it was like to discover that she was pregnant at age 43, with three children already in school. Her essays chronicle her exploits with diapers, dances, training bras, and training wheels. Readers follow her adventures in juggling activities for her children's age gaps, as well as the common issues of carpooling girls to the ball field, picking up tiny toy pieces, and running a household from the sick bed. Writing with candor and humor, Konig offers an enjoyable read. Recommended for most public libraries.

Garnering the wisdom of more than 600 seniors nationwide, Meckelson (president/founder, the Elder Wisdom Circle) has compiled this guide to help young people face the struggles and challenges of everyday life. He and Los Angeles Times staff writer Haithman took the most universal and provocative questions and answers from the popular web site www.elderwisdomcircle.org and arranged them by life's major phases. Problems addressed include coping with shyness, arguing with neighbors, and delivering eulogies. A unique feature of the material is that several responses are provided for each question, which gives the reader options for behavior. With its distinctive format for self-help queries, this should prove interesting to patrons of all ages. Highly recommended.

This particularly thorough guide by Moody of the London-based Dyslexia Assessment Service is geared toward adults who have difficulties with reading and writing, memory, organization, and time management to a degree that significantly interferes with performance at work. The author provides a description of both dyslexia (difficulty with words) and dyspraxia (difficulty with motor skills), both of which entail struggles in areas like dealing with money in shops, remembering appointments, and interpreting body language. She offers practical advice for common problems at work such as keeping track of the workload and remembering instructions. A downside is that all of the listed helpful organizations are in the United Kingdom. Still, readers will be able to find useful strategies and ideas within the text itself. For all public libraries.

Drawing on her own experience and the experts listed in the title, Moskovitch, creator of the counseling service Smart Divorce, instructs men and women on avoiding the pitfalls that can turn an already painful divorce into a nightmare. She covers the gamut of issues, including telling the children about divorce, keeping legal costs down, and solving custody problems. Interestingly enough, she states that the three things needed to keep a marriage intact—truth, communication, and compromise—are the same things that are needed to come to a separation agreement. She includes numerous case studies and quotations from a number of counselors and lawyers, all of which will help readers clarify their options. Comprehensive and well done; highly recommended for all public libraries.

Psychotherapist Presno offers another tack for figuring out what men are thinking and who is Mr. Right. Relying on her personal and professional experience, she lays out a systematic process to understand a particular man's perception of the world and of relationships in particular. With the knowledge the author imparts, one can determine, before it's too late, if a man is narcissistic, emotionally blocked, manic-depressive, or self-actualized. Active listening, positive self-talk, and trust in one's intuition count among the helpful techniques. The "type" scheme will undoubtedly attract patrons. Recommended for most libraries.

Spindel has assembled this dating guide based on her 13 years of successful professional matchmaking and understanding of what men want in a relationship. Using client quotes, real situations, and reflective questions, she offers advice on every aspect of dating, from where to meet potential dates to breaking up with unsuitable partners. Topics like what to talk about on the first date, how long to wait until having sex, and when to start meeting the other party's friends are considered. The courage to be honest as a factor in desirability is repeated throughout the text. The book's layout is appealing and the author's tone respectful of the reader and her clients. Recommended for all libraries.

In this intelligent and life-affirming book, Valmorbida (Matilde Waltzing) treats readers to stories of real people who met and fell in love under extremely challenging circumstances. The author interviewed a wide range of people in her adopted city of London and chronicled their accounts in 39 fictional narratives. Protagonists range from a Chinese waitress who escapes an abusive marriage, childhood sweethearts who reunite as adults in exile, and a Jewish refugee who falls for his aunt. One thread running through the stories is that endings are happy only when they follow a certain degree of hardship and wanting. This is a book that patrons will browse and be compelled to check out. Recommended for most public libraries.

This guidebook by journalist and sexual historian Vantoch will engage those curious about partaking in a threesome. Drawing on extensive research and personal experience, the author shows how to create sexy and emotionally rewarding threesomes based on trust, honesty, and self-awareness. She covers everything from seducing potential playmates, managing jealousy, and maintaining good hygiene. Black-and-white sketches illustrate the logistics of juggling three pairs of arms and legs in bed. Not for the timid, this is recommended for libraries that can handle explicit sexual information.