Q&A: Emily Giffin

By Tania Barnes -- Library Journal, 5/15/2006

Baby Proof (LJ5/1/06), Emily Giffin’s third novel after Something Borrowed and Something Blue, tells the story of that uncommon creature—the woman who doesn’t want children. So what happens when her mate—also “baby proof” when they met—decides that he does? It’s a sometimes funny, always thoughtful exploration about how life sometimes has other plans for us than the ones we make for ourselves.

You have two children. Where did you get the idea for Claudia, a woman who doesn’t want any?

I had one-year-old twin sons when I started writing Baby Proof (they are now two), so I was acutely aware of how much children change your life. For the most part, I believe that they enrich your life, but there are definite drawbacks when you make the irreversible and very serious decision to have children, not the least of which is a loss of emotional and physical freedom that Claudia frets about in the book.

I do think that society leads everyone to believe that the “right” path is to marry and have a baby. But not everyone wants to take this journey. I was interested in exploring the choice not to have a baby from a woman’s point of view. In some ways, this is the last taboo for women. You can be a full-time mother. You can be a working mother. But if you don’t want children at all, society judges you as selfish and deems your decision as somehow unnatural.

I was struck by Claudia’s line, “Having both [the baby, the career] means doing nothing very well.” Can a woman “have it all”?

I guess it depends on what you mean by “having it all.” Of course, I believe that women can have a meaningful career and still be good mothers. I know many women who manage to do both things well—and still be happy. But if you’re talking about literally having everything—that’s impossible for any of us, men included. Life is about compromise and sacrifice and trade-offs. If your career is demanding, you’re likely not meeting the school bus and preparing five-course dinners every night. I think the key is to try to let go of the whole “superwoman” mentality and find what works best for you and your family.

Your book reminded me of earlier chick-lit books, where the focus is more on the character’s struggles than on what shoes she’s wearing. What authors have influenced you?

Thank you. That characterization of my writing means a lot to me. I am proud of the chick-lit label, but it’s nice when people recognize that the genre is a layered one and is made up of things other than beach read fluff. I try to read as much as possible and don’t limit myself to one particular genre. Some of my favorite authors are Alice Sebold, Anne Lamott, Elinor Lipman, Melissa Banks, Tom Perrotta, Wally Lamb, Alice Munro, Kent Haruf, Sarah Mlynowski, and Jennifer Weiner.

Your mother is a librarian. Did that affect your decision to become a writer?

My mother loves books and instilled in me, at a very young age, a love of reading and writing. I dedicated my first novel, Something Borrowed, to her for many reasons, but one of them was a way of thanking her for being such a profound influence in my life.

[PLOT SPOILER ALERT!] Did you ever toy with writing a less-happy ending? Or do you think love does conquer all, even if people want different things?

To quote one of my favorite writers, Elinor Lipman, “I don’t believe readers should be left unsatisfied, with characters staring into the abyss, for the sake of literary coolness.” But I’d also like to point out that the ending in Baby Proof is ambiguous. It is uncertain whether Ben and Claudia will ultimately stay together and reach a decision in the great baby debate. In writing the book, I had three choices: Claudia could stick to her guns at the expense of her relationship with Ben, or she could cave in and get pregnant just to keep Ben, or she could decide that the most important thing was their relationship and therefore reconsider the baby issue.

Some readers might feel that I copped out, but the ending is not only true to life but consistent with my belief that this book is, at its core, not a sociological study of whether to have children but a love story between two people. And, finally, I do believe that love really does conquer all and that there is no such thing as a deal breaker when you’re talking about true love.