The Go-Go Golden Libido

With “PhDs in sensuality” from an experimental California community named Lafayette Morehouse, the Bodanskys (Extended Massive Orgasm) offer public demonstrations of how men can use manual techniques to give their women extended sexual pleasure. Written in Steve's voice, their latest guide presents good, if rather general, advice about relationships, playing on male/female differences while keeping both sexes on planet Earth. This means that men should please their women sexually and make them happy, and women should have an appetite for life and encourage and train their mates to be “better men.” The authors hold that in good relationships partners handle their differences with courtesy; parents should teach their children about the clitoris so that safe, noncoital sex comes easily. The heavy reliance on manual and oral sex techniques, including uses of masturbation, is a welcome change. Unfortunately, the bibliography is not very long or diverse. Optional for larger collections.

This spicy collection of sexual shortcuts, illustrated with charming color drawings of multiethnic couples, is divided into chapters by time rather than topic: scenarios for five minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and finally “sure-fire shortcuts” that apply more generally. The tips are fun and adventurous yet not wildly kinky; many scenarios rely on semipublic or unusual settings, spontaneous sex breaks from daily activities, judicious omission of underwear, and sex toys bought or improvised. Hollowed out oranges and mangos can serve as hand-job aids, and ice cream cones have uses you've never imagined. Dubberly is a British journalist specializing in erotic topics, and her breezy style makes for enjoyable reading. Probably designed as a gift book, this delightful Jell-O shot of a book could really perk up sex collections.

Gynecologist Hutcherson struck a nerve with the deservedly well-received What Your Mother Never Told You About S-e-x and now offers a “sexier sex book” in response to reader requests. But her new approach waters down her original classic, replacing invaluable detail with less capable material about gaining sexual confidence and the psychological and emotional penumbra of sex for women. With too much crammed into too few pages, her woman's anatomy/physiology chapter is not as good as in the first book, and her special topic chapters (e.g., “Sex After Marriage,” “Passion and Parenthood”) don't cover their topics adequately. Most tellingly, the birth control and safe sex material has been cut in half. It would have been better to have updated and expanded the original. Buy it instead of this book.

One pattern of sexuality does not fit all women over 50, write Kliger, a university health educator, and Nedelman, a clinical psychologist/sex therapist. Using methods similar to Gail Sheehy's (see p. 94) but without theories about stages, they collected information about older women's experiences and strategies. Sex is different after 50, they report, and a large percent of their sources still find joy and decided that “less can be more.” Other women kept up their sexual enthusiasm despite ill health, while still others found themselves surprised by surges of desire well into postretirement. Most enjoyed masturbation, for themselves and to share. The sections focusing on desire, body image, and sexual self-esteem are unfocused and tedious, but the entire work is a strong contribution—nearly all women will see themselves here and find valuable support. Including plentiful referrals to resources and a good bibliography, this title is for all collections.

Our third senior sexpert, health writer Price focuses on a smaller number of women of the 1960s “love generation” who are still having happy and wonderful sex. Drawing on data from emailed questionnaires and telephone interviews, the author shares personal stories and a wealth of insightful information about having good sex; dating; staying sexy; coping with hormonal, physical, and medical problems (including vaginal atrophy); and keeping erotic warmth alive in a long-term marriage. Many of these women have been adventurous and continue to be—their stories are not for the monogamy-at-all-costs crowd. Yet this is the book's strength: reassuring senior-aged women who feel abandoned by the numerous “coupled through life” books (and perhaps distanced from “vanilla” friends) that they are not freakish or alone. One quibble: it could've been more inclusive about safe(r) sex, though there's an excellent reading list and even footnotes. For large collections.

Sheehy's stages of sexual and romantic maturity in the tradition of her earlier well-known works (e.g., Passages, The Silent Passage, Understanding Men's Passages) probably occur far more flexibly than she describes, and her approach based on web questionnaires, interviews, and discussion groups claims indicative rather than statistical validity. Nonetheless, her sympathetic descriptions and recommendations culled from mature women about navigating the challenges of aging toward becoming a “seasoned siren” give this book real value. Her coverage of vaginal atrophy stands out—few books seem to address this common cause of pain associated with sex for older women. Many of her stories focus on the rich, megarich, and even the rich and famous. Yet Sheehy made an effort to include middle-American, minimum-wage, and Bible-belt women, whose solutions to aging and loneliness are sometimes more creative than those of the well-heeled cognoscenti and illuminati of the East and West coasts. For all collections.